VDAY?!

Valentines day is coming up in a week. I have stories.

In third grade when everyone had to give everyone else valentines, I saved one particular card from this girl I was mad crushing on. It had Beauty from Beauty and the Beast and all it said inside was a handwritten "Happy Valentines Day" (bitch was too lazy to even put a name). It didn't matter, I saved that shit even though everyone else in the class got one too.

In 7th grade the school was finally ready to acknowledge puberty and kids were sending around rose grams. I pondered long and hard over whether or not to drop that dolla bill and get this girl a rose and lollipop. In the end I was deterred by my mother. Did she tell me I was too young for love? What a terrible way to crush one's youth and innocence, right? Wrong, she just asked me why I needed an extra dollar for lunch and I chickened out. Love has many obstacles.

This one's not about me. My friend was a cashier at a store and on Valentines day she received a bouquet of flowers at work from some anonymous lover/creeper. It turns out she met him a week or so before and had a short chat. I guess she made a good first impression. The guy asked her out to an expensive dinner but she had no intention of doing so, and negotiated it down to a cheap, wholly unromantic place nearby. And she wouldn't let the guy pay for her. Where did I learn this story? Over dinner with her the night after. PYAHHH!!!!

Overheard by the flower shop next to La Burrita: This black guy bought flowers from the shop and bumped into his friend as he was leaving. The friend said something to the effect of "whoa what're you doing with those", and the reply was "Nigga I got love to confess". I wish I were black so I could say that.

My brother is hitting that magical age where girls become an interest rather than cootie carriers. Hopefully his childhood love life turns out better than mine. Fuck, imma make sure of it...I got him this book for christmas (along with a video game, don't hate):
Technically my former floormates got this for me and I regifted it. The author is a kid in fourth grade, I guess they grow 'em quick these days.

In conclusion, it's just one day out of the year and it doesn't mean much and if you get all worked up about it you'll get owned. I wonder how many November babies will be conceived this year...