My Turn (a review of Quantum of Solace, with some spoilers)

Over the past month, you've had a healthy dose of the 4 other broggers' areas of expertise. Whether that be kiyoshi's financial analysis, or chuck's fashion faux pas, or even victor's rare gems of insight into the human condition and friendship, or eleung's superb ability to document the slightest whimsicalities of the day, you've enjoyed it all. At the very least, you've stuck around to read it all.

Needless to say, it's time that efung step up to the plate and dispel the notion that my time is spent on pewter figurines and used underwear. So what, pray tell, do I bring to the table?

I watch a damn lot of movies.

Without further ado, here's my review of Quantum of Solace, which I watched Friday night with Jimmy, Christa, and Rachel. See how I snuck that shout-out in there too? I'm good at that too.


Anyways, I'll make it clear from the beginning that Quantum of Solace was, for the most part, an enjoyable movie. Being an action movie, it delivered by having action. There was no getting away from it, frankly. That said, I've got a lot of crap to pick with QoS for failing to live up to Casino Royale.

The trailer: too much revealed. All the best scenes of the movie were given away in the trailer. What the hell was the point of that scaffolding+rope scene if you show 1) Bond epically breaking in through the ceiling and 2) picking up his gun just in time to shoot the dude? And fantastic, you show a shot of Bond walking out of the desert like a badass, raising a silenced UMP45 (or something like that), and you don't include it in the movie. So maybe it was really just a promo shot. And if that's the case, then damn. Couldn't have hurt to include it, since by this time, they'd already made Bond *godlike*.

The Bond Theme: srsly? When I went home for the USC game, my brother played "Another Way to Die", and I didn't even realize it was the bond theme until he told me at the end of the song. What the hell, man. I don't have a big problem with either Alicia Keys or the White Stripes, but this song is not memorable at all. So if this were just a b-side to the next White Stripes album, I wouldn't think twice. I might even have liked it. But this garbledy nonsense should not pass for a bond theme. Just saying.

Technology nirvana. Being a techie, I can't help but pick at the supernatural powers that films bestow on technology. I've learned to suspend my disbelief in some cases, but it's still something that nags (see Cracked's 5 Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do). QoS throws in its vote with an insane Surface operating system that does all the work for you. At least in Minority Report, Tom Cruise actually looked like he was expending some effort when he picked out the files he wanted to look at. Here, you get all the information you could possibly want! MI6 also apparently decided to shell out for a glass wall that triples as a world map and conference phone. And finally, technology's so good that your phone can have a camera that lets you take photos of people 100 feet away so perfectly in the dark without a flash that you can run facial recognition software on them and come up with positive results in a snap. Yeah. Why don't I just shut up and let you believe in the infinite capabilities of computers and intelligence agencies.

Plot Hell. Sadly, this happens too often with movies. Okay, I didn't understand why things were happening half the time, but I can deal with that, especially when you negate it with Stunts Heaven. But when you throw in a line of dialogue that exists for the sole purpose of justifying the title of the film, you are doing things wrong. For that matter, when you throw random shit in for the sole purpose of justifying the film (read: obligatory opening chase scene), you are doing things wrong. And it definitely does not help when a major plot question such as "What is this organization that has people everywhere, and we know nothing about it?" doesn't ever go answered.

Lack of suspense. This ties back to the first point, where I'd seen everything in the trailer. Just think back for a second. Remember the black-and-white opening scene of Casino Royale where pre-00 Bond confronts his target in the guy's own office? Remember that sense of omgwhat'llhappennext? Remember when he goes all-in against a full-house of Aces? Yeah, you do. That's the kind of thing that burns into your memory. That's the mark of something special.

Final word: I walked out of Quantum of Solace feeling like I'd already seen the movie before. Bland villain, unspecial action sequences--that rooftop chase felt like it came straight out of Bourne Ultimatum--bumbling plot with characters I don't really care about. The film was fine, but only as a B-action movie, and absolutely not as a gratifying follow-up to Casino Royale that everyone wanted.

I'll be getting off my high horse now.