efung makes army rations

I'm a terrible cook. If cooking were like surgery, I'd be bludgeoning the patient with a board so that I could amputate in peace.

That's probably a bit of an exaggeration. I can make eggs and spaghetti. Tonight, I was too lazy and strapped for cash to go out for dinner, so I looked around and scraped together what little bit of food I had in the apartment. Turns out I had a box of instant grits and a bag of expiring cheddar cheese, as well as some canned food. So under Chuck's tutelage, here's what happened next, in recipe form:

1. Warmed a big thing of [whole] milk.
2. Mixed in 2 packets of grits.
3. Add a crapload of cheese.
4. Threw in a thing of salt, white pepper, and butter.
5. When it was all heated and mixed together, poured onto a cookie sheet.
6. Poured in a can of corn, and puffed some more white pepper on for good measure.
7. Baked for 30 minutes at 325 degrees.

Well, those measurements are as accurate as I could remember. Check out the finished product! (click to enlarge)
Looks...alright. I guess. Tasted like mashed potatoes, with the corn mixed in. I imagine combat rations taste better than this. But oh, the horror. It became a fight to get all that cheese and milk down. A dinner fit for a soldier!

Now excuse me while I go wonder why I bothered eating at all...